People are really strange!!!
Leaving Shanghai, I was overwhelmed by various emotions, unable to explain clearly, forcing myself not to cry, but tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. It's been a long time since I felt this way. After thinking it over, I should be the one with the problem.
As I grow older and experience more, I have become somewhat numb, thinking that nothing is a big deal. But the sudden mixture of various emotions, like different types of alcohol blended together, makes it easier to get intoxicated, easier to shed tears. I know I can't be too selfish. My friends say I think too much, but in the face of the unknown, I still choose silence. What kind of ending is a happy one? Can there be happiness? Silence may be the best way to keep the lake surface from rippling as much as possible.
Having been hurt, I now carefully protect my emotions, afraid of being noticed, afraid of being betrayed. But I never expected to meet someone with whom I can be completely open. I seem to lack generosity. I hate myself.
I've heard people say that a sign of getting old is gradually losing interest in things and losing enthusiasm. In some ways, I am still like a child. Although sometimes I act like a crazy bug, I hope I can persevere, not compromise, or become one of those people who are despised in their hearts. I hope to find my own place.
In a country where everything needs to be scrutinized, even the slightest criticism sounds harsh, and any praise that embarrassingly grabs onto the toe is not loud enough. I often say things that do not conform to the core socialist values. My friends say it's lucky that I haven't been banned.
Every time I see them mindlessly reposting and praising greatness and correctness like machines, I want to laugh, like Arthur in the movie "Joker". To some extent, I am indeed sick.
For example, this piece is just a random ramble, writing wherever my thoughts take me, letting my mind dance on the keyboard. 🤕